Friday, February 18, 2011

I've just started watching Being Erica. I have been enjoying it a lot. It's get me thinking about my own regrets. It has been putting everything in perspective.

My past hasn't always been easy or happy but I can't complain about it. I have lived a wonderful life so far. I have great parents and siblings. My extended family is loving. I grew up safe.

I have made my share of bad choices. And they were my choices.  I started dating Mike in high school, had the opportunity to move on from that relationship in university but didn't want to deal with the heart ache.   He had his share of issues but there was something about him that kept me in the relationship. We got married and less than 3 months, he was distant and we argued more often, less that 6 months he had moved out and went to Vancouver. To this day I don't know how it came to the extreme.  It took a long time  and more terrible choices to move on from that pain.

I went out to the local pub with friends nearly every night. I ended up sleeping with a mutual friend on more than one occasion and usually after drinking.  There were also a few other guys in that time as well. I didn't care at the time. I wanted to forget, I wanted to feel needed/loved/wanted.

Then one day that all changed, I went to the fireworks with a few friends from work.  There was this one guy that had always been a friend. We ended up hanging out after and talking all night. There was a spark that neither of us had seen before. It took about a year of casual dating and hanging out to finally realize that we were meant for each other. (I felt is a lot sooner  than he did but I needed to be patient and not push him)

He is a wonderful, caring, intelligent man. He does have his quirks but they make him who he is. We have made a wonderful marriage and have a beautiful little girl. It's hard to believe that God has a plan for each one of us. If I hadn't made the choices I had made earlier in my life, I may have never met Darren.

As for regrets and do overs, sure there are things in my past that I'm not proud of or would like to change but those choices have made me who I am today. I wouldn't give that up for the world. :)

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